Sheila Tucker, Heart Mind & Soul Counseling
“If you just close your eyes, you’ll get sleepy,” they said as they nodded their heads with their eyebrows raised. As if their own internal agreement would send me into a deep slumber. It did not.
I heard this phrase a lot growing up. Along with, “Go to sleep, Sheila.” Even at five, I had too much to do to sleep.
The grownups in my life finally made me a deal too good to pass up. “If you lie here, be quiet, and don’t move, you can read as many books as you want.” Say no more. I was in.
Meanwhile, at nap time, when the other children in my class were face down, drooling on their mats, I was surrounded by all the books my little arms could hold.
I’m still not good at taking naps. I wiggle, squirm, or remember there’s something I need to do. However, give me a good book, and I can be still for days.
As children, you play until you get tired and then rest. You don’t think about it. You just do it. And if you don’t take enough downtime, you get cranky.
As adults, we’re seemingly always on the move. Rest and play are put off until we have more time, or we try to cram it all into a weeklong vacation. Basically, downtime becomes another form of productivity that requires a check mark once completed.
Years ago, my doctor introduced the benefits of rest and play. I was working hard and trying to make ends meet. I was stressed out, and it was taking its toll on me physically and mentally.
I’ve always had this “get it all done before you can play” mentality. Not to mention, as a child, I was told I had “ants in my pants.” To this day, even when I appear to be sitting still, I’m usually doing something.
After assessing my wash-rinse-repeat, work, work, work schedule, she suggested that I take a lunch break away from my desk and find time each day to do something I enjoy. That something couldn’t be considered work. She pulled out her fancy pad, and with a half-smile, she wrote, “New sneakers and fun 1x/daily.” This was the first of many unique prescriptions she wrote for me over the years.
Admittedly, there was slight pushback on my part. All I could think was, “Me? Do nothing? When I have so much to do? This will never work.”
I felt a bit deflated and doomed that I didn’t have the time or capacity to rest or play. There was a part of me that wanted my doctor to be wrong. So, I dove headfirst into the research to see firsthand what I’d be missing out on and what it meant. Because, ironically, I had time for research.
When I think of rest, I imagine sleeping and doing nothing—dare I say, being unproductive. On the other hand, playing brings forth the image of kindergartners running in circles with reckless abandon. It looks fun, unfocused, and also exhausting.
However, according to the research, resting and playing are and aren’t what you think. It’s person-centric, taking on different forms, depending on individual preferences. In other words, you can’t get it wrong.
Rest
As you probably guessed, getting good quality sleep is essential. However, if napping makes you feel all cringy, below are a few examples of resting with your eyes open.
- • Reading. It’s been my go-to since well before I used it as a bargaining chip in kindergarten.
- • Taking nature walks or fishing. Being in nature has been shown to reduce stress and promote a sense of tranquility.
- • Listening to music or podcasts.
- • Being mindful. Using your senses, take a few moments to notice where you are and what you’re doing or to take an intentional breath.
- • Taking a break. Regularly taking short breaks during work or study sessions can help prevent mental fatigue. Use these breaks to rest your mind, stretch, or engage in a brief, enjoyable activity. This can also look like taking that lunch break away from your desk or allowing for more transition time between tasks.
The key is to find restful activities that resonate with you personally and help you unwind, recharge, and decompress.
There are so many benefits of resting. Here are a few of my favorites:
- • Supports mental health. Rest plays a crucial role in maintaining good mental health. It helps reduce stress, anxiety, and burnout by providing a break from daily demands and allowing time for relaxation and self-care.
- • Restores energy and fatigue. Rest allows the body and mind to recharge and replenish energy levels. It supports physical recovery and mental clarity, improving focus, concentration, and productivity.
- • Balances hormones and emotional well-being. Adequate rest helps regulate hormone levels, including those associated with stress, mood, and emotional well-being. It contributes to emotional stability, better mood management, and a more positive outlook on life.
Play
Meanwhile, the act of play has three elements: (1) There isn’t a purpose. (2) You don’t want it to end. (3) You become less self-conscious because you’re lost in the activity (like those kindergartners aimlessly running in circles).
As with rest, play also means something different to everyone. Some examples are playing a musical instrument, singing and dancing, painting, playing games, or engaging in recreational sports. It can also be less structured, like joking with a friend, client, or colleague.
I do my best to find moments of play every day. For instance, it’s not uncommon for me to stealthily insert song lyrics into therapy sessions.
The main thing is to do what brings you joy. Then go find others who like to do the same thing, allowing you the bonus of building connection through play.
When you introduce play into your life, it can:
- • Promote creativity and imagination. Play allows you to explore your imagination, think creatively, and engage in innovative thinking. It encourages problem-solving skills, flexibility, and adaptability.
- • Support emotional regulation. Play provides a safe outlet for expressing and processing emotions. It helps develop emotional intelligence, empathy, and self-regulation skills by exploring different roles, situations, and social interactions.
- • Relieve stress and promote relaxation. Engaging in enjoyable activities and hobbies can reduce anxiety, improve mood, and increase overall well-being.
In case you’re wondering, I followed the doctor’s orders and bought those new sneakers. I also enjoyed daily lunchtime walks with my co-workers. Every day, I looked forward to exploring new places, catching up with friends, and trying to best how far we could walk in an hour.
I’d love to tell you that all my stress fizzled away once I added rest and play. It didn’t. All the stressful to-dos and people were still right there.
While rest and play have the potential to help, they don’t magically vanquish all stress into the ethers. I’ll happily let you know if that ever changes. In the meantime, take this as “permission” to add more rest and play into your life.
Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling. She specializes in working with couples and individuals to better their relationships so they can connect more deeply to themselves and each other. Tucker also leads an eight-week anxiety skills group to help individuals practice responding differently to their anxiety. When not in the office, you’ll find her walking her pups or planning her next mountain getaway with her husband.
