Negotiating
Thankfully, more and more women are speaking up at work—for equal opportunities, equal compensation and a workplace free of harassment—as it should be. However, while women are boldly asking for what their teams and colleagues need, many are still reluctant to negotiate for themselves. Some critical strategies can help:
- • Be prepared. If you are caught off guard by an unexpected conversation, whether it’s about a new role in the company or an unexpected demotion, buy yourself some time to regroup so you’ll be able to approach the discussion knowing what you want and how you’ll ask for it. It takes time to make sure the right issues are on the table. Highlight your uniqueness and be ready to clearly communicate the value you contribute. And avoid talking only about salary, as this single-issue discussion can damage the relationship. Visualize or practice by role playing the negotiation in advance to further entrench your skills and readiness for the conversation, increasing your chances of success.
- • Cultivating positive emotions. A positive outlook helps foster effective negotiation because it heightens our willingness to seek mutually beneficial solutions and improves our ability to engage in creative thinking. Research shows that people in good moods tend to collaborate rather than compete. Prior to a negotiation, engage in positive priming (thinking about something positive or engaging in a joyful activity) to increase positive emotions. The result will be greater creativity, openness, and willingness to collaborate—all essential elements of successful negotiation.
- • Think beyond yourself. Always frame your offering in terms of what the other side needs. Like it or not, women can suffer in negotiations because focusing on their own needs causes others to view them as bossy and aggressive. To overcome this, frame a negotiation as though you are negotiating on behalf of a group or another person. Research says that women who adopt an “I-we” strategy, in which they show concern for the other person’s perspective, can minimize the social cost of negotiation. A collaborative or communal mindset—enhanced by preparation and a positive mood—can help you find an I-we strategy that is good not just for you, but also for the company or for some larger cause that you and the other party both believe in. Consider the interests of the other party and suggest integrative solutions.
- • Increase emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence involves an awareness of your own emotions and the emotions of others, which will boost your confidence in negotiating. This awareness results from deliberately pausing to take a deep breath or two. It lowers the intensity of emotions and reduces reactivity by providing a moment in which to consider how best to respond. This emotional control helps you negotiate more successfully and gives you greater self-assurance, especially in difficult situations. Emotional intelligence can be developed through mindfulness—paying attention to the present moment—and mindfulness can be cultivated through meditation. Focusing your attention on something like your breath, and bringing it back each time your mind wanders, even for a few minutes a day, builds your ability to stay focused.
Networking
Along with the skills required for effective negotiation, the ability to network strategically stands out as another important and valuable component for success in business. Surprisingly, though, among women, networking is either badly or underutilized. How so? Well, many women network too much just for the sake of “getting themselves out there” and end up spending valuable time and resources with people or groups who are not essential to their short- and long-term goals. Every call you make and every event you attend should be with a goal in mind. If something doesn’t align with your success goals, then learn to say no.
Studies also show that when women do network, they tend to do so mostly with other women rather than men, which can be a real setback—even a revenue trap. Here’s why: If you’re relying on mostly female networking groups, you aren’t reaching all demographics. Since men typically hold more senior-level positions, this means women are less likely to get access to people who can open doors for them.
Keep in mind, we aren’t just talking about opening doors; we’re talking wallets, too. By attending only women’s networking groups, you are potentially cutting off half your potential customers: men. Mixed networking groups provide you a low-cost, low-risk opportunity to discover what marketing messages work with a male market or whether you even need a separate marketing message.
How effective your product/service pitch is with both men and women informs you of the value of your offering. When you can nail it in both groups, you can’t go wrong, and you’ll enjoy the exponential results of opening avenues of untapped revenue, an improvement to your marketing messages, and you’ll have men as advocates for your company.
Once you’ve assessed your current networking habits, begin to refine your approach. Though it can be tedious and awkward, according to LinkedIn, 85 percent of jobs are filled through networking. Networking isn’t just about finding a new or different job. Face-to-face interactions within your current company are important to the trajectory of your career. In fact, a recent Women in the Workplace report revealed that women get less access to senior leaders than men do. Yet employees who interact regularly with senior leaders are more likely to ask for and receive promotions, stay at their companies, and aspire to be leaders.
Tips for effective networking:
- • Make networking smart. Define your career/business goals and only attend or spend time on the phone with those people or groups who can move you toward those goals. Then make your goal-defined networking a priority. Strategic networking also requires you to get clear and intentional about your goals before each event, so, (1) have an agenda; (2) know why you’re attending, to whom you may want to talk (and why), and what you’re going to talk about; and (3) formulate a plan.
- • Share the wealth. Prioritizing networking and paying it forward to the connections you’ve made can make all the difference in the long-term. For example, never ignore a request from a previous employee, no matter how long it’s been since you worked together. This can open doors to new relationships and career opportunities for yourself and others. Consider mentoring. Mentoring can be both formal and informal (through networking) when you are passionate about sharing what you’ve learned.
- • Turn negatives into opportunities. Intentional networking also requires you to see the opportunity in what you may deem a negative situation. Be prepared to get a little uncomfortable. Don’t go to events to hang out with folks from your own company. Instead, make it a point to mingle with as many new people as possible. Most of us hate the small talk and avoid it. Instead, use small talk as an icebreaker, then quickly focus on what you can learn from the person to whom you are speaking. By approaching each interaction as a learning opportunity, you may discover a business tool that could bring greater efficiency to your workplace or knowledge of a new technology that could benefit your industry. Then, after any event, try to follow up within 24 hours. Whether it’s a phone call, an email, or a social media connection, post-event outreach is a great way to keep the relationship open for years to come.
Done right, negotiating and networking allow women to identify role models, find or become mentors and sponsors, and expand their business opportunities. As they rise in their careers, they can also pay it forward by helping others coming up behind them.
