How to Not Die Alone … but also DOGS!
Ever since I made the conscious decision to choose knowledge (reading books) over murder (podcasts like Dateline), I’ve been cruising through a plethora of suggestions from Amazon and my friends. Last month, while photographing January Snow for our special section on nurses, we had a chat about some favorite reads. I was telling her about Dave Asprey’s The Game Changers, and she suggested The Mountain is You (which I highly recommended to multiple people who have now also benefited).
This month, in honor of the artificial month of love that florists and greeting card companies conspired to invent (also known as Singles Awareness Day), I figured I should read about relationships. I’ve been blissfully single for over a decade, so this is not in my wheelhouse. I promptly pulled up Google and typed “books on relationships.”
The first thing that caught my eye was Logan Ury’s How to not Die Alone. The cover art depicting simple bold type with a cartoon graphic of two toothbrushes facing each other in primary colors got my attention. Is it the best book on relationships? After reading it, I assure you it is not. But as someone in the business of graphics and words, I’m here to tell you that stuff matters; she got my money.
Ury studied psychology at Harvard, and was the director of relationship science at Hinge, so she’s pretty much a nerd. She’s also only 30 years old, so take that as you will. Her take on finding a mate is scientific. Don’t date the guy you’d take to the prom; choose the one who will carry your purse in the cancer clinic and be a team member when you’re caring for aging parents. Choose the responsible guy who isn’t going to forget to pick up your kids at school.
As a relationship coach, she sees three types of people who can’t seem to find love: the Romanticizer (in love with love, you grew up on Disney movies, and you are looking for Prince Charming); the Hesitator (you want to be the very best version of yourself before you open your life up to a significant other); and the Maximizer (you’re sure the perfect person is out there, you just haven’t met them yet).The book includes a quiz you can take to determine which dating style is holding you back.
My takeaway from this book was, maybe you should lower your standards. I’m laughing as I write this … and I’ve had a chuckle with several friends as I tried to recap this book. There were, however, some interesting facts and real studies about relationships—like 69 percent of relationship problems will be recurring. An example of this is you like to wake up at 6 a.m. but your partner is a night owl. This will cause problems—and your patience and problem-solving abilities will be helpful in navigating a relationship like this. Another example is he hates your mother but she’s your best friend; or she loves Slipknot but he prefers Anne Murray.
If you’re afraid of dying alone and that is the main thing you are considering when it comes to marrying or not, then by all means, run out and buy this book. I’m sure you’ll find it helpful. I’d rather just get a dog or two.
And speaking of dogs, this is my favorite issue! These pages are chock-full of pet articles and your adorable four-legged friends. We tried to get as many of your pet photos in as possible, so please forgive us if your pooch didn’t make it. We receive hundreds of submissions every year, and the pages are filled in the order we receive them.
If you are happily married and looking for a way to celebrate this month of love with your spouse, Linda Hopkins shares some fun date ideas on page 77. Everyone’s favorite local podcasters, Mandy and David, recently tied the knot. We get a peek into their special day on page __.
Other highlights in this issue include a feature on Full Spectrum art studio (page ____), Becca Edwards’ article with Seven Tips to start your day off better, and our continuing series, Neighborhood Stroll which highlights Ribaut Island.
We hope you enjoy our February issue … and here’s to not dying alone.
